In December, I wrote about dreams and butterflies.

I was in the office today when my little sister told me about a butterfly she saw the night before in our house. It was green, very reminiscient of the one that came right after Papa passed away. Not only had she seen it last night but this morning when she was eating breakfast, the butterfly was resting on one of the kitchen doors just sitting there. She told me how happy it made her to see the butterfly and it also made her miss Papa. I burst into tears when she told me and I reassured her that Papa probably came to visit ’cos he missed her. She said she too cried last night when she saw the butterfly.

I came home today and went to the kitchen to drink some herbs. I looked to the ceiling and see a butterfly. So I called my little sister to check whether it was the same butterfly she saw in the morning and she said yes. I was happy to see the butterfly ‘cos I thought I had missed it!

Just now, I was sitting on my parent’s side of the living room with my mother, when I saw the same butterfly flutter by with a flurry to the sofa next to my mom. It perched on the armchair and rested for quite awhile. I finally told my mom, “You know Papa’s visiting?” and nodded to the butterfly.

Last night when my little sister pointed excitedly to the butterfly, all my mom said was that “butterflies are friendly insects”. HAHA!

Anyway, I proceeded to tell her what my little sister said to me today. Then I showed her the two blog entries my little sister wrote. When I read both entries, I cried because what she wrote made so much sense and I really feel it’s from the heart. The first one was after she saw the butterfly and the second one was written after the breakfast meeting.

I took pictures of the butterflies. You’ll understand once you see…

This picture was taken on the 10 October 2007, 7 days after Papa passed away. The butterfly sat on the sofa my dad last sat on.

This picture was taken today, on 4 July 2008 on the ceiling of my kitchen.

Can you spot the butterfly? Taken tonight, 5 July 2008.

The butterfly up close.

Just now, when I was leaving I touched the chair and the butterfly flew away.

Some of us as Christians may have reservations whether to believe in butterflies revisiting because reincarnation or such visitations are not common in the Christian faith. We’er not supposed to believe it. However, I personally believe this butterfly is a sign from my dad anyway. Why? A butterfly represents Resurrection and Life. It represents transformation, transcendence and freedom.

I do believe strongly in the spiritual realm. I have heard strange visitations that sound off and scary. However, when this butterfly visited in October and today, I felt joy, peace and reassurance. I am not scared. And I’m a scaredy-cat!

Do I believe my dad is living in the butterfly? Not really. I do believe it is a sign though and maybe his presence is here. I have faith in God that He blesses us with signs and wonders so that we may have hope. God has always provided answers to prayers and signs as confirmation. It is up to our faith to see it.

I also feel that He is reassuring us that Papa is alive and well in heaven.

In the last few days, I have been amazed and in awe. God to me has never been more real and I have felt so much peace in my heart from the testimonies I’ve read (my last few posts). 

I can understand the reservations though.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. 2This is what the ancients were commended for. - Hebrews 11:1

Heaven is real and Jesus Christ is coming soon!

Mariah Carey and her management decided not to run with Love Story as her 3rd single, thank goodness!

So her 3rd single is I’ll Be Lovin’ You Long Time - a grammatically wrong but very catchy song from her album, E=MC2. HAHA!

The video was directed by Chris Applebaum and is miles better than her last video Bye Bye. She destroyed the essence of that song in my opinion. I still question… “Why Mariah? Why did you butcher such a great and meaningful song?!”

Anyway, let’s move on to happier things. It’s summer and Mariah’s new video is sure to thrill because first of all, she looks absolutely stunning. I’m not kidding. Watch it and be bowled over by the gorgeousness that is Mariah Carey. I love the golden, shimmery water. It’s like she’s swimming in gold! It’s beautiful and not only that, Mariah’s swimming with dolphins!

This video doesn’t stink because she’s not trying hard to be sexy. She just is.

I love the treatment of the video too - the gold, the colours, the sunsets and scenery shots. Beautiful. Mariah Carey has a beautiful golden tan too.

T.I, I can’t believe I’m actually saying this ‘cos I don’t normally pay compliments to men, is quite good looking.

I kind of wish Mariah Carey would have just done a video for the album version but maybe her record label felt it lacking in some way.

And yes, Mariah had to add a nauseous and cheesy touch by proving that her “Mrs. Cannon” tattoo is real. *yawn yawn*

Anyway, watch the video ‘cos it’s festive! It’s not as ground breaking like Touch My Body but it makes Mariah Carey look good and yeay… at least you don’t see Nick Cannon!

I’ll (Okay, yeah, yeah.)
I’ll (I know you like me baby. haha)
I’ll (yeah yeah)
I’ll Be Lovin’ U Long Time. (you know I like it baby)

I’ll Be Lovin’ (Repeat 7 Times) I’ll Be Lovin’ You(I’ll Be Lovin’ You Long Time)

I’ll Be Lovin’ (Repeat 7 Times) I’ll Be Lovin’ You(I’ll Be Lovin’ You Long Time)

(Verse 1)
You don’t even gotta worry, (okay)
about a thing,
I got yah babe. (chyeah chyeah)
And ain’t nobody taking me away ’cause its not a game. I’m here to stay.(I know you like me babe)
See our love is stronger than any drug.
Addicted just can’t get enough. (eh)
And everytime I’m with you I want some more.
Just close the door and let’s explore each other. (you know I like you baby)

(Chorus)
Long as I know you’ve got me.
I’ll be Loving You Long Time (as I can be)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)
There’s no stopping you and me. I’ll be Loving You Long Time (as I can be)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)

(Verse 2)
Don’t care what no one has to say. (eh)
They don’t understand us like we do. (eh)
I need you near me night and day. (cuzz)
Together there ain’t nothing we can do.(chyeah chyeah okay)
Sweep me up and we can go, (hey!)
to a little spot where no one knows. (Hey!)
Spend a little time just us alone. (hey!)
Caress my body and never let go.(haha)

(Chorus)
Long as I know you’ve got me.
I’ll be Loving You Long Time (as I can be)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)
There’s no stopping you and me.
I’ll be Loving You Long Time (as I can be)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)(You gotta know I love yeah, told yea’)

(T.I.)
Show you I care I tried just ’cause
Take care of solitaires I buy just ’cause
I just love, you in the nude, in the bed in the pool and your legs when you move.
All your booty and your cutie and the sexy way you do it make me wanna buy all the you desire times two.
Like the biggest Louis bags, the bentley and newest jags and the huge pad and make you laugh when you be mad.
Just invite your friends over for diner and you can brag, chanel and tiffany this, versace and gucci that.
Lifestyle like that if you leave you’ll be back
erway you could go they eitha broke or pretty wake
plus y’aint gotta ask where my heart really at but you wanna waste time with one of dem silly cats
Gon’ be my guest tho’ I dont suggest
It’s just so hard to get love like this

Don’t want another, ain’t never gonna be another, Can’t nobody do what you do to me.

I’ll be Loving You Long Time (as I can be)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)

Long as I know you’ve got me.
I’ll be Loving You Long Time (as I can be)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)
There’s no stopping you and me. I’ll be Loving You Long Time (eternally)
I’ll be lovin’ you long time (eternally)

A few days ago, I wrote about Papa’s altar experience. I didn’t really say it in that post but I remember reading through my prayer journal and doubting. I thought, “Was it really God? Papa couldn’t talk about it…maybe it wasn’t God but… the devil…”

When it happened to Papa in 2006 then and he relayed it to us or tried to, I didn’t doubt then because I saw the hand of God move. I’m not sure why I doubted when I wrote this post.

On Sunday, I attended a meeting where someone talked about this boy who was in an accident and went to heaven. His mother wrote their story in a book called, “A Message from God“. I was watching Retha and Aldo McPherson’s testimony on Sid Roth’s show and came across this,

So I jumped up because I realized this car is going to drive over us. And as I jumped up and I looked into the lights of the vehicle, a very strange thing happened to me, my whole body started shaking, but not like when you are cold, it’s like really, really shaking. And I was looking at the lights of this car and the next thing after the shaking the heat, it is like fire, I could tell where it went, it went right through my whole body, and after that, I could say it is here and then at my feet, and right after that the peace of the living God was with me. And to have peace in this worse situation…

….

When I had this peace, he was in heaven. Jesus, what happened actually, then later on after he was in a coma for months, and he came out of the coma and couldn’t speak, the only thing he could do was write, and then he was explaining what he was writing to me, that night at that bad accident scene I looked into Jesus eyes, Messiah’s eyes, where he took him, picked him up and took him to heaven where he was in heaven the whole time and God was teaching him the word, the word of God is today in his heart.

- Source

Wow. When I read that I felt this surge of clarity and assurance that Papa saw and felt the glory of Jesus Christ that day. WOW! 

I’m going to buy the book. If you want to read her testimony, click here or go to her official website. I have never read a more Christ-centred testimony and it makes the story beautiful, believable and real.

Today is a special day of sorts. We bought something big and I hope that we get the number that we want. It’s something that Papa knew about. We were going to get it when he was around anyway but we postponed it till now. I think Papa would have been happy with our purchase. He’s always happy when we buy things.

Man, she looks good here. Love Lindsay Lohan’s hair here.

And omg! Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are holding hands! YEAY!

- Source

Some thoughts on the news that Anwar Ibrahim, the de facto leader for the opposition party in Malaysia is being investigated by police on new sodomy allegations.

In my opinion, Anwar Ibrahim’s spindoctors and damage control team is good releasing a press statement so quickly. Indeed, his statement is damaging the image of Barisan Nasional. Probably because this allegation obviously destroys his credibility that he’s taken time to rebuild.

First of all, Barisan Nasional is already facing an all time low in popularity ratings among the people. People are still watching Pakatan Rakyat (DAP, PAS and KEADILAN) very closely and supporting the idea of a New Malaysia.

From my point of view, Pakatan Rakyat or the opposition have much to gain from this allegation as compared to Barisan Nasional. Barisan’s integrity is already being challenged on many levels - we have doubts pertaining to our judiciary and administration. They have more to prove to win back the people’s trust. Not play a game or a show.

It’s a precarious and juvenile move if really it was by Abdullah Badawi or Najib supporters. Think about it. This sodomy allegation is meant to make it seem like a ploy to overthrow and lock Anwar Ibrahim up but…it’s risky. Don’t you think so? Couldn’t BN have thought of something more original? And why would they back pedal to Mahathir’s era again? Why would they want to relive history? I thought they were moving forward and away from that era. Mahathir used the Internal Security Act (ISA) at his whim or so they said and Badawi is obviously not a Mahathir. Do the opposition think that Badawi will use Mahathir’s methods? Well, it is yet to be seen.

What if it is meant to push Badawi out of power rather than to keep him in power? Could this allegation be made from the opposition camp though? Could Anwar have approved of this? If Anwar was arrested again on the same charges as he was so many years ago, don’t you think people will lose even more respect for our current government? Maybe the opposition want to push Badawi to retaliate so that they can point fingers and go, “AHA, WE KNEW You’D DO IT! YOU’RE JUST LIKE TUN DR. MAHATHIR”.

The point is - i can’t imagine BN stooping so low as to rehash the same old nightmare of the late 90’s.

Of course politicians are all actors. They can get sms-es and act “surprised”. They can call for a meeting and plan the next course of action knowing full well what is going to happen. It is the perfect time for people to throw their support to the opposition now because of the oil price increase and the general negative sentiment towards the government.

But of course, It’s just conspiracy theories of course. Politics is just so dirty. It’s a game to many. And yes, I’m a blog too so this means… I can be credible or not. Anybody can write and say what they want. Who speaks the truth on the Internet?

And so the question from me to you is, “What is your conspiracy theory?“

For better understanding:-

- Anwar Ibrahim’s press statement dated June 29, 2008.

- Anwar Expecting the Worst - Lim Kit Siang

- Malaysia’s Anwar faces sex claim

- Malaysia’s opposition leader Anwar once again accused of sodomy amid political tension

- Police report against Anwar Ibrahim for alleged sodomy

- Attempts to destabilize Malaysia has begun.

- Anwar’s Press Conference Still On (what a way to gain international press coverage, no?)

- Anwar accused of sodomy…again !!! Reformasi II !!

Anyway, you get the picture.

Edit: Adding more links that I thought made sense.

- Anwar is playing you for a fool.

It’s helped Anwar obviously. He’s got international support from the media and it seems from countries - like Turkey for example.

I can’t help but see this as a publicity stunt.

Tonight I watched The Holiday. And I was reminded of the time I went out with a bunch of friends to watch this show. I had free tickets. The sad thing was of course, it was on the eve of my dad’s check up just before he was properly diagnosed with AML.

I remember paying for my ticket at One Utama after the show, making small talk, smiling and thinking with a heaviness, “Man, if only they knew…” I knew this check-up was going to be the pivotal moment. The turning point.

It was a good movie nonetheless. It made me smile and feel good. That’s what movies should be about.

—

June 27th, 2008 - the day Papa’s beloved car went away. Papa’s car was precious to him. All his cars were. 

His car stored his treasures. And my dad didn’t have a lot of things but the things that he did have, they were in his car.

As much as we hated to see this part of Papa leave us, the last and biggest tangible item that he left behind, we will always have memories of Papa and his car with us. He left really good ones. Every little sound his car used to make, he’d send it in for a check-up. He was always paranoid about his beloved cars. He didn’t care about the other cars in the house - they could be rattling away and he’d never hear it.

We got to sit in it over the last few months and maybe in that way, it allowed us to be with Papa’s treasure thus being a little closer to him in that sense. To go about our daily routines knowing that Papa was closer to us is a good feeling.

But from what I’ve heard, I think the car has gone to a good home where the people are proud, happy and excited with the car. Maybe they will treasure the car too.

Today, I was leaving a mamak after breakfast and NST caught my eyes. Good job for the eye-catching title! I had to do a double take ‘cos is the News Straits Times calling Najib a liar? They have his face below the words, “HE’S A LIAR”. It seems to be that way. Maybe NST is trying to say something eh?

I mean, those were the two biggest things on the page. The headlines and his face. Anyway, that picture of him they used is an odd one. Isn’t there a better one of him, smiling at least?

Maybe they should have put Raja Petra Kamarudin’s face there instead.

I learned a long time ago that the media is so powerful, they can skew a public’s perception by the layout of the page and the pictures they use.

Top 5 Worst Kisses according to College ‘On the Record’,

- The Slobber

- The Dart Fish

- The Bad Breath/ Food Breath

- The Soul Patch Beard Burn

- The Chronic Biter

We always dream of the perfect kiss though, don’t we? We fall into Bad Kiss Techniques when we’re caught in the moment… and just for the record, here are some steps on How Not to Kiss.

Don’t:

- try to suck the face off of your partner
- force your tongue onto the scene.
- kiss your partner with a mouth full of saliva
- kiss with bad breath or fuzzy teeth
- miss your partner’s face or misalign and hit noses
- run into trouble with braces.

Easy enough? 

There’s a pig out there who hates mud and who may be suffering from mysophobia (a fear of dirt)… so her peoples put boots on her and she’s happy.

Is that not adorable??

Today, I attended Saturday service ‘cos there was a special production on and church told us regular Sunday people to attend Saturday service ‘cos it’d be super packed on Sunday. I helped with the “welcoming crew”.

It was meant to be an evangelistic meeting. The 5 song presentation by the youth/young adults was good and I thought some of the singers were really outstanding.

Our pastor gave her sermon and only after the sermon did I realise she did not reference the bible at all. I wonder if that’s a good thing?

She talked of broken families and relationships and how God is the only one who can mend, renew and refresh us.  

I wasn’t paying as much attention as I should because I was still light-headed from my fever attack yesterday. Not sure why I felt ill yesterday.

At the end of service there was altar call and the song they sang was, “So You Would Come”. I was reminded of the time when that song affected my father so much. I didn’t write much about it on this blog but looking at my prayer journal, it really was when my father was touched by God.

It was a healing service my dad had attended, they had an altar call and played So You Would Come. He was slain and felt/saw a hand go into his body and pull something out. Not only that he felt a burning sensation from his head to his waist, a fire that was so hot that it rendered my father speechless and in tears. The effect must’ve been awesome because I remember how he was trying to relay the experience at dinner and he couldn’t without choking. In fact, my father wasn’t quite himself that night.  

I was reading through my posts from that time and I feel strengthened. I am humbled.