• pigduck
  • Aug 24,2006
  • In: Rants

E06 - Day 1

A quick post ‘cos I haven’t posted in days. It’s 1:22am.

I attended the 1st day of E06 today and it was so intense. It’s about ourselves and how we should live… what struggles we deal with - acceptance, significance, expectations and these not from God but from our peers, family and ourselves.

I couldn’t speak during the first part of the day because it was a reflection on our lives and what we are going through. I literally clammed up till after lunch. It could have been that I was hungry, who knows.

The second part was easier ‘cos we focused on the Prodigal Son and it wasn’t about looking directly into who we are.

I liked one particular thing today - it’s not about “SOLUTION” but “REDEMPTION THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD”. If you read a few posts down, you would know I talked about finding a solution and it’s not about finding a solution but it’s to understand redemption.

Maybe God was preparing me for this conference, I don’t know. It’s about realising the love of God for us and that we are after all His children and loved by Him. Our past shape who we are today but God is bigger than our past…He’s our past, present and future… He knows all, He’s absolute… He loves us … I guess we need to know our priorities and we need to know how to live for God and not to live fragmented lives.

It was intense and to be honest, no answers have been given… words have been thrown about but nothing definite, nothing that they’ve said, “This is how you do it…” which is good. I’m glad.

Christians don’t live carefree lives and if there are people out there who tell you we do, it’s not true… we still live in the world and therefore we still suffer what other people suffer. However, we have God to lean on. If we lie and say we don’t need a crutch, we’ve got nothing but pride. I want to lean on somebody… I do and yes, I have pride and I shouldn’t be leaning on what other people think is the right thing to lean on… work, family, friends… these things can fail you. After all, family and friends are people and people disappoint…

What I learned today is that we have to look up at God. We need to have the right relationship with Him for us to move forward. I know that but somehow I find it hard to have a right relationship with Christ… it means scaling back on other activities and actually devoting time to God… this doesn’t mean reading the bible and saying a few lines of prayer, it means spending time with God. This is something I have difficulty with. I don’t even know how to spend time properly with friends or be a giving person and suddenly I’m a giving person towards God? I don’t think so… :)

So in most ways, if our relationship is right, if we understand God and our view of Him is correct, we will be able to lead better lives. It is how we look at God that matters… and we can only understand God if we talked to Him, if He talked back to us (this is communication), there needs to be respect too and love.

Once we understand this, the way we identify ourselves changes. We aren’t just specks of nobodys but we are of worth. We mean something to somebody… who we are, as ugly as we are, God loves us and that’s it. Why should we care what other people think?

I don’t know… there’s still a lot to learn… hopefully, I soak in more. It’s late. I’m dead for tomorrow.

I think some Christians have a superiority complex… we think we are better than others so we sneer at them. We look down on other people and make them feel inadequate and small and that’s not good either. Encouragement is always important… we some times fear for others and how they live because we know that God does not condone such acts but instead of condemning, we should really be doing the opposite… but the children of God are not as gracious as God… and well, it’s good that we aren’t God then… :)

The other day I was talking to someone who told me he couldn’t seem to get anything out of church… just because it demanded a lot out of him. I don’t know what I said and whether I made sense to him but I think I might’ve said the wrong things and hopefully, by God’s grace, He’ll make it good again. Some times, we just need to look up at God first… but of course, we would rather point fingers. And today’s workshop I think, affirms that… we lose sight and forget God… we only have a mental picture of Him or who we think He is which may be wrong or skewed…. we need to correct that view because this will shape our actions and behaviours. I wonder if I told him that… who knows.

Hmm… ok, it’s really late and I have to wake up before the sun rises. Madness.

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