• pigduck
• Dec 28,2007
• In: Family, Spiritual Affairs

In Loving Memory - 2 Months 26 Days

I’ve been ill the last few days, vomiting, diarrhea, fever, no appetite, nausea… and my father has been on my mind constantly as I think what he went through, when he was ill with fevers day in day out and it must’ve sucked so much for him. I feel terrible and it’s only been two days and he had to feel like this for so long.

He had so much strength to live as normally as he could, getting out of bed, getting dressed… that in itself is so amazing if you feel like crap. I mean, I couldn’t even bring myself to do that yesterday and today…

I still have no idea how my father had an appetite and how he could force himself to eat when he didn’t feel like it. I feel so floored and deflated. Yesterday, I was aching all over… headaches, dizziness, chills, even while laying down, my head spun. And I think, should I even be complaining?

I’m not sure if I’d be as strong as my father… having to go through sickness for so long. I thought of him when he had water build up in the sac surrounding his lungs… he must’ve been so uncomfortable but he suffered almost in silence and I think of the time my sister and I tried to  alleviate the discomfort with minyak angin…