It seems that after having played around with my eyes, it has made me myopic and very distracted. Reading is quite a chore and my concentration level is at an all time low.
I have all these plans for the New Year which unfortunately have only just remained as so. And somehow these plans were made some time in November. I had a two week break and sad to say they weren’t the most productive. Sure it just meant I just chilled out a lot but at the same time, I wished I had accomplished at least 1 of my goals.
I wish I could feel sadder that it is the past the New Year and I am still not as reflective. I mean I should be yet… I am not. I have so many things to be grateful for in 2011 and in 2010. I never properly got to reflect on it and that kind of disappoints me. But what disheartens me the most is how guilt-free I feel that I don’t want to reflect. I could say maybe the Holy Spirit is saying I don’t need to reflect or maybe, God forbid, that I have wrecked myself beyond comprehension and am now unable to remember or think back of God’s goodness to me.
I hope I will find the time to write my thoughts down. I hope I will feel more thankful in my heart and I hope it will be sincere and honest, not seen as a chore but to really see the bigger picture. Please God, I hope I am not a brat although I have a creepy feeling I am.